I cannot go anywhere without feeling some discomfort. I cannot go anywhere without feeling anxiety. I cannot meet anyone without feeling terrified. I cannot occupy a space without being frightened. There is a constant paranoia that I feel about every object, space, and person I interact with; this includes my consciousness. Every breath, every typed letter, every spoken word, every pace, every action and inaction produces an anxiety. And then there are things for which neurotypical people can feel stress over—and for me that is simply overwhelming. Every step of my existence I need to feel validation so when I am confronted with a normatively stressful stressor, I feel despair.
While all this is happening I am overcome with an inexplicable and overwhelmingly frustrating inability to plan and organize my tasks; I lack short-term memory while having a detailed long-term memory, so I can remember fear I felt half my life ago as if they were now but not if I have taken my medication tonight; I have limited energy at the end of the day because I have been assaulted with too much sensory input; and I am vigilant of the hate crimes committed against people like me with the knowledge they could happen to me or a friend.
And on top of all that I am expected to live not as if I am normal, but exceptional at all the tasks I interact with.