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if you are trying to be an ally, you need to recognize that it’s not about you. If you are talking over Autistics or otherwise bringing the discussion back to center on ‘allies’, you are not a real ally. Real allies tell these people “don’t do that shit. This isn’t about you.”
If you are really an ally, you are not going to make it about your feelings. Declaring yourself an ally isn’t something you get to do. If you are really fighting with us and for us, it should be because it’s right, not because you want an “Ally!” sticker for your Good Person collection.
A conditional ally, by the way, is not an ally at all. Anyone who says they’d be for your cause if you weren’t so mean/if you personally educated them on every issue/if you were more appreciative is not an ally. Again, it’s not about the privileged group’s feelings here-it’s about equal rights and about our very existence. My exasperation with nearly everything does not reduce my personhood or the fact that I should have equal rights.
Let me expand on that a bit: if you’re only for my rights when I give you warm fuzzies, you aren’t at all for my rights. I’d rather know this in advance-before I put effort into you. Building strong allies from relatively clueless people who want to do the right thing is one hell of an energy investment. I do not have the time or the energy to squander on people who are ultimately faux allies.
I received no response about this either.
TPGA, I know this isn't true for everyone in the community, but at least for me, Kassiane is one of my biggest role models.
She fights back. She will not let injustice go unquestioned. She has taught me invaluable things since I entered the autistic community online. She is eloquent and an amazing teacher. She is one of the best people I have ever met.
If I chose anyone in the autistic community to speak for me, it would be Kassiane.
Banning Kassiane lets me know that you value bullies over autistic people like her and me. I cannot be in space like that. I have been in too freaking many like it. I have been hurt by too many people who have let bullies continue to bully without impunity. I refuse to be hurt by TPGA. I cannot be a commentator on here unless you un-ban Kassiane.
The truth is, you cannot be an ally if you allow this to happen. TPGA, you cannot ally a community by being indifferent to its needs and silencing its opposition to your blatant indifference. We get it. You think you know better and are creating a positive environment for autistic people and parents of autistic people to come together in supporting those autistic children. We know. We know you think you are creating an environment that is educational and beneficial to all, but this is simply not the case. You need to own up to that. You either create a space that is safe for autistic people, or you don't.
And the truth is, you already decided--and it is the latter. This is despite the fact that autistic people were willing to brave your under-moderated comment section to educate parents--most of whom were unwilling to be educated. That was our time. That was our patience. That was our energy. And you did nothing but exploit it and neglect us.
So, fuck you, TPGA. Put your goddamn money where your mouth is.